Marriage:  A Reflection

To My Dear and Loving Husband

If ever two were one, then surely we.

If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;

If ever wife was happy in a man,

Compare with me ye women if you can.

I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,

Or all the riches that the East doth hold.

My love is such that rivers cannot quench,

Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.

The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.

Then while we live, in love let’s so persevere,

That when we live no more, we may live ever.

Upon reading this poem, I was struck with the words Anne Bradstreet used to describe her marriage to her husband.  The author clearly enjoyed the time spent with her husband, so much so that she wrote a moving poem describing the fullness of their marriage.  The prudent thing to do would be to analyze this poem and try to uncover what Bradstreet did in order build a successful marriage and try implementing these ideas into our own marriages.  What Bradstreet is sharing with her audience are two required aspects for a marriage to be successful.  That is, for any marriage to reach its fullest potential, passion and perseverance are of the utmost importance.

            First we will explore the aspect of passion.  Having a passion for your spouse is incredibly important to the sustained success in marriage.  All too often I have seen family and friends enter into marriage, without this important aspect, only to watch the union slowly dissolve.  One of the causes for this dissolution is confusing lust with passion.  Anne Bradstreet describes prizing her spouse “more than whole mines of gold,” as well as possessing an “unquenchable” love (153).  Nowhere in this poem does the author describe her husband as possessing a six-pack hard as stone and shining golden hair.  Rather, the author omits these details because she believes that passion for your spouse is not based off surface details.  Being passionate about your husband, or wife, is learning about their interests, taking the time to learn about the others beliefs, helping them to achieve their goals and celebrating with them when they do.

            The second aspect of marriage that we will explore through Bradstreet’s poem is the idea of perseverance.  While Bradstreet claims that she values her husband “more than whole mines of Gold,” it is equally true that in the world of mining, valuable minerals do not simply fall into one’s lap.  Rather, they have to be worked out of the rough.  Towards the end of the poem Bradstreet writes “Then while we live, in love let’s so persevere.”  Why would she choose to end her poem by conveying the idea of perseverance?  Those who are married will tell you that marriage is never easy.  The idea that Bradstreet is trying to convey at the end of her poem is that when you have a disagreement with your spouse, lose your job, or experience the death of a child, will that also bring about the end of your marriage?  What Bradstreet is talking about in these last lines is that marriage is the great act of painting a picture together in life.  Sometimes the paint fails to mix correctly and mistakes are made on the canvas.  However, if the two artists possess the mentality of perseverance, then when the painting is completed the beauty will be great and perhaps, inspire others.

            As I read this poem, I cannot help but contemplate my own marriage.  Rachel and I have been married for almost two years now and it has been two of the greatest years of my life.  Naturally, there are times when we do not agree on everything and unexpected challenges arise.  However, we have both worked to overcome life’s obstacles and have come out better because of it.  Together we are painting on a canvas and it is starting to resemble the art that Bradstreet created in “To My Dear and Loving Husband.”

Works Cited

Bradstreet, Anne.  “To My Dear and Loving Husband”.  The Norton Anthology of Literature by Women Vol. 1. Ed. Gilbert, Sandra M. and Gubar, Susan.  New York:  W.W. Norton & Company, 2007.  152-153. Print.